We haven’t even started building…

here’s what we’ve learned so far

Before starting this process, we assumed building a home would mostly come down to picking a floor plan, choosing finishes, and watching it all come together over time.

Turns out, it’s a lot more layered than that.

Y’all - building is hard.

Like… my mind is constantly spinning with “what ifs,” running through the daily flow of our life over and over again. I’m thinking about where backpacks will go, how mornings will feel, where everyone lands at the end of the day… to the point that I’m already loosing sleep over it.

Functionality matters first to me. But beauty matters too.

And then there’s Aaron and me - we’re both a little bougie… just in very different ways.

Which means we’ve had to compromise. A lot.

A few years ago, we renovated our kitchen and tried to “blend” our styles. It sounded like a good idea at the time… but we ended up with traditional cabinets, a modern backsplash, and a space that never quite felt right. It is a hodgepodge and I won’t make that mistake again

That experience taught us something we’re carrying into this build:

Sometimes trying to meet in the middle doesn’t create something better - it just creates something unclear.

So this time, we’re choosing a clear direction.

(And yes… it’s mine 😜)

1. Function matters more than you think

We’re realizing quickly that designing a home isn’t about what looks good on paper - it’s about how your life actually flows inside of it.

Where do the kids drop their backpacks?

Where do people gather at the end of the day?

How do mornings feel when everyone is trying to get ready at the same time?

These are the questions that matter more than we expected.

I have literally looked at thousands of floor plans, drawn 25+ versions of ones we liked and tried to tweak… and eventually I just threw in the towel.

At some point, it all started to blur together.

Every option felt like it could work, but none of them felt exactly right.

And that’s when I realized this process isn’t about finding the “perfect” plan… it’s about building something that fits your life, even if it doesn’t check every single box on paper.

Some decisions have been easy.

I knew pretty quickly that I wanted our two girls to share a bathroom and our two boys to share a bathroom upstairs.

Part of that is practical—bathrooms are expensive. Like… at least $20,000 for a basic addition, and that doesn’t even begin to account for my bougie taste in finishes.

But it’s also about lifestyle.

It’s already hard enough to keep the three bathrooms we have now clean, and honestly, some of my most memorable conversations growing up happened in a shared bathroom with my sister—one of us on the toilet, the other in the shower 😝

I don’t know why, but something about that space makes it easy to talk about the deeper stuff.

And those are the kinds of moments we’re intentionally trying to design space for in this home.

2. Your plan will change (probably more than once)

We’ve already changed our minds multiple times—and not in a gentle, “slight shift” kind of way.

What we thought we wanted at the beginning is far different from what we’re moving forward with now - and I’d be willing to bet it won’t be the last change we make.

Honestly, that’s been a good thing.

Each change has brought more clarity, even if it felt frustrating in the moment.

3. More space isn’t always better

At one point, we thought adding a basement was the obvious move.

More space, more flexibility, a place for the kids to go so they’re not stomping on our heads all day… it made sense in theory.

Until we really looked at the cost.

What we thought would be a simple way to gain square footage turned into a much bigger financial decision than we expected.

It forced us to stop and ask:

Do we actually need this?

Or do we just think we do?

We’re learning that more space doesn’t automatically mean a better home—it has to align with how you actually live.

4. The right people make all the difference

This process can feel overwhelming really quickly.

There are so many decisions, and it’s easy to second-guess even things you’re certain of.

Having the right people in your corner changes everything.

For us, bringing in Maggie, our designer, and working with a builder we trust has given us clarity we didn’t have before.

Not because they make the decisions for us, but because they help us thoroughly think through them. Their experience is priceless.

5. Decision fatigue is real

We haven’t even started building yet, and already it feels like there are thousands of decisions to make.

Big ones. Small ones. Everything in between.

At some point, you realize it’s impossible to make a “perfect” choice. We just have to make a thoughtful decision and move on.

6. Waiting is part of the process

This might be the hardest part for us.

Right now, we’re waiting on our first draft of plans to come back.

We are so excited, and these two months of waiting have been excruciating!

We know the process cannot be rushed. Good decisions take time, even if we’d prefer them to happen immediately. Just know you’re not the only one that struggles with impatience.

7. You don’t have to have it all figured out to start

If we had waited until we had every detail perfectly planned, we probably wouldn’t have started at all.

There are still things we’re unsure about. Things we’ll probably change again. Things we haven’t even thought of yet.

But we’re moving forward anyway.

We’re still very much in the middle of this—waiting, learning, adjusting—but already this process has given us a new perspective on what it means to build a home.

Not just the structure itself, but the life that will happen inside of it.

If you’re thinking about building someday, we hope this gives you a little clarity—and maybe even a little peace going into it.

And if nothing else, just know you don’t have to have everything figured out to take the first step.

We’re proof of that.